somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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