Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
