Your mouth is God's brothel.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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