spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
