he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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