Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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