so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize