soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
