DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
