Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
