If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
