I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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