he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize