You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Banned from zoo.
Again?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize