that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
