I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
