My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
