I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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