i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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