I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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