I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
