My nipple is on Facebook.
Just cropdusted the office
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
