Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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