Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
