Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize