I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She's the barista slut.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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