So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize