I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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