I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
