I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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