Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
