how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
