her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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