i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
