just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize