just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
