Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
