remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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