Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But break dance skills will only take you so far
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
