You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
