i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
