I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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