I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
