my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
