Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
