K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
