i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
wat bout pragnant strippers??
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
