Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
