Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize