You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
