in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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