I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize