used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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