So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
