My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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