The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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