are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
