I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
