true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
