Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize