I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
